CHRISTINA DIMITRA

gaslighting.

sometimes he would flirt obviously with girls , friends of mine in front of me and call me crazy when i told him to stop touching my friends out of respect for me.

girls would come and ask me „are you a couple cause he is flirting with me“

i knew i was not jealous, he thought i was, but i was hurt. hurt because he would not respect my feelings and treat me as if i made up drama to prove him i was in love with him.

„you are crazy, you make me feel bad, you are drama, your selfesteem is low, what are you talking about.“ (things he would say so i would stop telling him what i think and how i feel)

after different kind of bad experiences with him , i kept my mouth shut for a long time and watched him behave like he wanted.

i accepted him.

till i realized – he was not the right man for me. 

i choose trust. i choose protection. i choose honesty. i choose commitment. 

he knew i was to good for him.

he needed me.

i did not need him.

but i had hope to change him.

i felt poor for him.

it took me time to understand that it`s not my job to make him happy, not my job to prove him love, i needed to heal and chose to leave.

 

 

 

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