the last thing i would call myself is cool.
people call me „cool“ all the time.
i would say that i am not cool.
i am aware of every word another person drops and i need to check on my surroundings a lot. sometimes i have to block some of my family members – so i can stay in my powerful state of mind – where anything is possible. i don´t want to waste time on explaining to much and i don´t allow others to fuck around with my energy anymore.
i don´t like to be destructed by negative sentences.
i just block, leave and ignore or confront if necessary.
i don´t deal with „you should-s“ anymore.
i ignore the „you should-s“ of others because I know what i got to do.
i do my best.
so. my mindset needs to be checked every day. by myself.
my negative thoughts or fears need to be acknowledged and they need to be removed by myself. no one else can if – i can not.
if i am good – i am able to help others and if i can motivate myself – i am able to motivate you.
i practice awareness as good as i can.
i want to stay high productive and need to balance my mindset everyday.
i use my talents. i pass wisdom.
i write, think, paint, perform, photograph and edit, i sing (just for myself) and i take care of anything else like anyone else.
to be an artist 24/7 means:
i know that most of people might think „oh it must be fun“.
but the truth is that i don´t work as an artist because i feel like „it´s fun“ or it „seems cool“
i became an artist because i am an artist. since i was born.
i truly am.
it just took me a few years to figure it out and be really sure about it.
it just took me some time to understand my values and learn to protect my talents.
a strong emotion and the thought „i can not continue like this anymore“ made me turn around my life and decide for myself and become who i am more and more.
and i know – i am way much more than i say i am.
cause i am still shy.
eccentric and shy. (super great remix)
i am a teacher, a student, an autodidact. someone who passes his wisdom everyday, someone who explores ideas everyday and someone who is willing to solve problems, someone with open heart and someone with an great mindset. someone who collects ideas, someone who is motivating, someone who struggle daily as everyone else, someone who finds the answers and someone who cares about values, someone who fears, someone who creates and someone who shares ideas and knowledge from personal experiences. i am high sensitive.
if i could describe the capacity of this work then i would say:
self control, battle, self confrontation, awareness, concentration, reflection, discipline, isolation, meditation, time management, reading, self developing, listening, focusing, motivating, strong believing and smart planning.
this goes out to all people who think „being an artist is cool“.
i choose extra ordinary / (multi)disciplinary because „easy / simple“ bores me.