yeah, quincy jones. watched his documentary a few weeks ago. now i am listening to „everything must change“ and i hear the sentences „nothing stays the same, everyone will change. no one stays the same. the young become the old. cause that´s the way of time.“ how liberating is that ?
music heals our soul. right? without water, without music, without dreams we would die.
yesterday i spend some time alone. i´ve been listening to jazz in the evening, took a bath, lighted up the biggest candles i found. since i know that i am connected to the whole, i don´t feel alone anymore. i am working on the relationship with myself. realized i´ve been really hard to myself in the past. i´ve realized how much i have changed personally.
i am finally able to say „i enjoy life“.
it feels good. it feels right. so i decided to call my mum and tell her :
„ma, i am so happy my soul was incarnated into this family. i am so happy to call you my mother. you are my best friend and you never let me down, even in my worst, depressive times, when i was mean, when i felt unloved. when i left. when i could not be around you anymore. ma you are the best mother i could ask for. you never stopped believing in me. because of you and grandma, i am able to live my dream. you both made me who i am today. your love gave me strength. i remember looking up to you as a kid and thinking „this woman works hard, she is so disciplined and so self confident“. your trust means everything. i want to thank you most and everything else will follow naturally. thank you so much for everything you have done. if i imagine, i was my daughter i would have given up 100 times. but you did not. you deserve all the love. you are the most loyal person i know. you deserve to know that. you are funny, you are loving and intelligent and you are so much more. i love the way you tell stories and laugh about your own jokes. i love the way you speak out loud. you will always be a part of me. we are connected and i want you to remember that love always wins.“