we spent so much time together.
we protected each other.
we grew up together.
she was always a part of me.
even when i decided to leave home.
she was always on my mind and i felt bad when i left her.
i wanted to follow my dreams.
she would not understand.
she did not have dreams.
but i explained it to her and i left her options to move into my apartment when i saw how sad she was.
and she did.
she is 6 years older than me.
i gave her home.
i shared everything with her when she was in need.
she was always on my mind.
like a twin.
i was her guide.
she is the opposite of me.
we used to say we are like „yin and yang“
„le meme sang“
today everything is falling apart.
it hurts and i feel a change and i think it is necessary to let her finally go.
it took me years to realize that she is not willing to continue with me as we did before.
she does not reply anymore.
she does not call anymore.
we used to talk and laugh.
i called you so many times.
i tried to hard.
you are ignorant.
and i miss you so much.
even if i live a different life – i wanted you to be a part of my life.
you are watching me on instagram and you decide to ignore my messages like…
you are my family.
i see that all she needed in her life was to start her own family.
she needed her own thing and that is fine.
i am happy for her.
but it hurts to see her ignoring me.
i feel like a stranger.
it hurts to hear the words she is saying.
i am watching you for a long time.
and you are not aware of your words.
and if i ask you – you say „i don´t have the time sometimes i forget to answer“
you have no time?
you got 24 hours a day.
are you grateful for your time ?
you talk like your mother.
do you feel responsible for what you say?
you are breaking my fucking heart.
like your mother.
so you are not able to reach out for 1 min?
2 min a day?
i am busy, too.
it hurts so i need to let you go.
you are my one and only sister but i need to let you go.
you are family but i need to let you go.
and i see how time flies.
and i see how i grow.
and i see how you change.
but i am still the same.
and i see i don´t fit in in your lives anymore.
this is scary.
this scares me.
i don´t fit in your worlds anymore.
if i give you more and you don´t even appreciate it – i got to step back and show you – how it feels to be ignored.
i don´t need you.
i wanted you.
i thought nothing would separate us.
i thought love is endless.
i was so sure about that.
you know ?
i wish you all best.
i wish you empathy and self love.
i wish you responsibility for your own words.
i wish you great awareness.
i wish you a big wake up call.