„Do i have to feel bad for being a believer now? No.“

„This is not a competition. This is true. This is for all of us. This is true. We share. And those who believe that we are seperated from each other , feel anti or depressed anyway. We need to figure it out all over again. I don´t have a mentor. I am my own mentor. My own teacher. My own boss. My own assistent. But I make sure, this is going to change. I let it go. I let it go and see what happens. There is another option of self-acceptance.

Sometimes I laugh so hard about myself. Like „how could I believe I was ready to change this world? how? how? how? huh? how? how? hahaahaahhaahahahhaah. how?

so .. wtf am I doing here?

I should sell flowers in ghana or sell flowers in mumbai or move to a greek island and start all over.

Michael Jackson was judged heavy for being pure. So wtf? You can say whatever. I can say and be whatever. This is a part of my job now.

How can someone say that Michael was guilty? Everyting good was and will be attacked anyway. Never enough. Never.

I could be the worse and people would start running. I am entering the bars now and everyone is turning around. I am able to get drunk and no one is saying on word. Like? What happened? I am glad if you ask me.

I am good and people start requesting me more than ever. I can be honest and they are looking for „a problem“ like „there must be something wrong with her…“ „okay so … I was good, I was bad, I was good, I was bad, I was good, I was bad.“

Where is the mic?

„Where is my motherfucking mic?“

„Lauryn, I grew up with Fugees in my ear. I remember my sister collecting Cd`s and „Kassetten“ my cousin was so into 2 Pac, my father was into George Michael, Gipsy King, Queen, Falco and he said „What are you doing there? Well I am just listening.“ My sister, I love her, she was so cute she was dancing and doing the moonwalk in the kitchen… look, look she is so gifted. I remember her being talented and feeling ashamed for her drawings.

That´s really good Dora. You gotta continue. „No it´s shitty.“ „No. Continue.“

Today I am the artist.

Can u imagine that u inspired me? Dora? You did. You are my hero. You are older and I respect that. I am sorry if I hurt your feelings. But I was honest. I love you more. I remember the stories. They said „at night i would climb into her bed and hug her.“

„I love you. that´s why i am yelling sometimes. you are a great woman. a strong and great, beaufiul woman. a woman that is grounded and shy. a woman who is willing to create space for my speaches in the living room. i know it was hard sometimes. i was an entertainer and that sucks. but people love you too. they loved us more together. i remember you running out of the club and i was running behind you… you lost my fucking phone? no. you did!!!!!!“

„i love you. do you remember us hitting each other on the street like guys would? and when one german stranger started filming us. I can´t. I am laughing right now. Still kanaks. We are real. We love so hard. You have been my best friend. My sister in law. My homie, My brother. My mother. My soul sister. You have been everything. And now I am proud to see you grow as a woman and mother. You deserve my loyalty till the day I die.“

„le meme sang.“

„Blut is dicker als Wasser.“

„Du bist mein Herz. Ich liebe dich.“

Autor: Dimitra

Expressionist, Visual Artist, Creative Writer based in Athens, Greece.

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