CHRISTINA DIMITRA

„i am teaching, mentoring and reminding.“

„i am speaking and spreading philosophy of life. I am sorry and apologizing if you did not feel the love and if I did make you feel „not enough.“ I still have own struggles to overcome. My mind is heavy irritated right now.

Yes I am arrogant because I am not in need of sympathy.

„You might know my writings and you might know my work and feel really connected. But I am still human and have a personal life. I am not looking at myself as an star or influencer. I don´t. I am still shiny. I am still great. I am still so many women in 1 person. I am breaking the silence of violence and judgment. Because people look at Instagram as the biggest classroom. I got trust issues. I got trust issues because everyone got trust issues. We never know who might is sitting in the audience. I can be the best philosopher and fail in life. That´s why I chose to preach it. I did not make money with this. I did not even ask people for money. I had 1 friend and she was not truthful. I believe in soul guidance. I believe in humanity. I believe in love. I believe in healing love. I believe in acceptance. I believe in tolerance for what is. Right now. We are all writing history. Not just the artist. Every human being on this planet. I have travelled to India because I had hope. And today I decide for „a new life again.“

so again:

„I believe in marriage. I believe in new decisions. If you want to start a new life (and I am not talking about Instagram just) If you decide to start new, change, develop and double your skills – you will find a way. Because „only will“ matters. We forgot our voices. Sometimes we feel alone. But we are not alone. I am feeling irritated. Because I have been living with a woman who would not be able to just see the love. I feel sad for now. But I will get through this period also. I say she is still inspiring. We met in a different „world“ and we both learned our lessons. She is a good heart. But maybe she has different traumata’s to overcome. I have different traumata´s to overcome. We are both willing to end this friendship. It´s not worth the mind struggle. We are both not on the same page anymore. We are not. And it´s okay. I am willing to heal all over and found new tools and I am willing to stop sharing personal things because I really believe in trust and in marriage and in raising kids and I believe in forgiveness. I believe in god. I believe in loyalty. I returned because I loved her as a human. And I am not her mother. She is not my mother. We have been struggling a lot. And I hope she find peace of mind as I hope I find peace of mind all over again.“ 

Like „mindwar´s“ as an artist are usual. To break through we got to stay stronger than ever.

My mindset is tripping because I did not feel included at all.

I was working for myself to overcome my fears and own battles. I was feeling „I was the right person to fight for artists and for healing. But now I got to think about myself and reflect on my heart decisions.“

„I love bloody steak by the way. And I am not saying that vegetarians should hate on me now. But you choose.“

„I am free and it´s not better than working for the system I always felt wrong in the system because I was working for the system a long time and I was not happy staying in a store and selling was not meant for me. I was to honest man. I was drunk.“

„I tell you something. I put god first still. I don´t want you to feel under pressure because I felt under pressure and it´s not healthy to feel under pressure 28 years and figure it out for your past and for the best for your family. I wanted them to accept my writings. And I wanted to break my own silence.“ 

„I am female. My soul is universal. My soul has no gender. I am not a hippie, still. I am not a prostitute. I write rhetoric. I am an artist and artist are selling their souls to speak and break traditions.“

„I feel bad for people with no sense of humor. Either you have or not. Either you love or not. I am sharing now all my writings skills and people feel disrespected? So let´s make music than and just see what happens. I love sound, I love rap, I am still hip hop but I am not putting myself in any kind of box. I won´t even try because we are all changing and living our truths. I live my truth right now. And this chapter is teaching me that „loosing is sometimes better. We can not have it all. And it´s okay.“ 

 „I have my supporters doing their best to succeed for themselves. Everyone is able to achieve what he / she wants in life. You can choose working for the system and become a great teacher. You can choose working for arts. You are able to become a good seller, a good philosopher, a good mother,  a good business man, a good „no one“ if you have personality. this is all that matters. we all have right? we all have worth and values. I don´t judge people for who they are. I wanted to feel good about my own decisions. And try new ways and try my best to overcome my own wars.“

„I wanted to become a fair person. But it´s not possible if you are authentic and powerful. A fair asshole, maybe yeah. I am my own boss right now. I am willing to work in teams. I never meant to hurt anybody with my writing skills. I wanted to give myself the chance to recreate my life and start all over. I still say it „turning thuglife into hug life.“

„I returned back into my old life because of love. I had my own idea of „let´s return and let´s give yourself another chance to work with German artists because I believe we all want to succeed. And we are German and immigrants. We are great enough to show Europe and the world how creative we are. It´s „pro“. It´s for a our better future. For „mind strength“

„Instagram is just another tool. Yes, we are all using Instagram but I do not want to waste my energy on people who are not able to trust into my process. I am willing to continue my work and stay true to myself as I said since day 1. We are allowed to heal from traumata’s I still believe we all are able to decide for ourselves.“ 

„I choose a new chapter. I choose inner safety. I choose love. I choose trust. I choose wisdom. I choose philosophy of life. I choose a marriage if I am ready for this. I choose god. I choose universal humanity. I choose everything I am and said I would, still. I love India because it´s multi colored. And people struggle. We are not poor. And they are smiling and they are keeping up „with the Kardashians“ they are sitting on the streets and smiling. And they are so generous. My heart hurts for this world. I am a woman. I believe in men. I am a feminist. And you won´t find a box for me. I am not taking anything from you. I choose to let it go so you can say „I won.“

„I choose team work because I believe we are on the same page and I still think that Kanye is a genius, a really smart poet, I believe 2pac was a truth teller and a great poet. I believe that mother teresa was broke and a good heart. I believe that my mother is a heroine. I believe my father is a hero. I believe my father is a great philosopher. And I believe my family deserves all my love. Forever. And if start my own family, I am willing to stay the most loyal and truthful woman I know. Because I know how it hurts to be „lied to and manipulated.“ That´s why. I know.“

„choose healing. choose feelings. choose love. choose forgiveness. choose whatever you feel like you want to do.“ 

„this is dedicated to my grandfather. he was a great story teller and he had a good sense of humor. he was a great man. he was a scared man. and he inspired the shit out me. yeah. I love you. I broke the tradition for us. and you deserve to be the love you are. your soul is endless.“

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