Monat:

Der Schlüssel.

 

der Schlüssel bist du.

hat sie gewonnen?

ich schweige seid Wochen, alles andere strengt mich nur an.

ich arbeite weiter.

ich erschaffe und leide sowieso.

wer denn nicht?

huh?

wer denn nicht?

manchmal frag ich mich zwischen drin:

werde ich je wieder wirklich, wirklich Spaß haben?

hoffentlich man.

noch nie war mir so scheiß langweilig.

ich penn nachmittags ständig ein.

also schreibe ich jetzt:

was wird

was ist

was war

ich schaff das

ich kann das

ich mach das

Lu wtf?

 

 

Naturschön und Schweigen.

Digitalschön.

Zeitlichkeit.

Augenblick der nächsten Nähe.

„Gefällt – Mir“.

Der Schmerz ist der Riss.

Die Sehnsucht nach einem anderen Zustand.

Seinzustand.

Gefallen finden die Menschen an sich selbst.

Schönheit – Schein.

Verdecken.

Verzögern.

Ablenken.

Kontakt.

Schön in Hülle.

Verhüllung.

Versteck.

Lust am Text.

 

 

performing infront and behind the camera.

what inspires you at the moment? 

right now i feel inspired by draq queens or let me say … different characters and personalities i imagine … I also feel really inspired by all the women and different personalities in my family. One is really vulgar .. she used to smudge her eyeliner and used to wear bush up bra´s and mini skirts … she is not that kind of perfectionist more the opposite of a „lady“ you know and not in a negative way… the next is speaking outloud…she feels really sure about herself and really confident to speak to many and  strict with her own boundaries she is filling the room with her personality… and let everybody know she is not easy to play with .. one is shy and charming and more quiet… a passionate but quiet woman… all together – kind of theatrical to watch and experience.

where do you see yourself in 1 year?

jogging on the beach. i actualy hate jogging. but the answer is : jogging on the beach.

favorite drink?

amaretto sour.

your personal favorite tracks of the month?

future by madonna and quavo (really liberating and motivating and sweet)

mit dir by rober görl

clout by offset and cardi b (powerful and strong)

stay flo by solange (i respect and admire her personality and style she is a whole icon)

magic wand by tyler the creator (actually no words needed .. i love the irony …it´s pure art)

Mathematician, Poets and Neil.

–

what kind of feminist am I?

what kind of philosopher am I?

what kind of human am I?

what kind of woman am I?

who the fuck knows…

–

i am changing, as life, as weather, as season, as time.

as time.

as time.

as time.

–

i was writing about this house

and i meant my imaginary house

…

i was writing about this garden

and i meant my imaginary garden

i meant my soul

if i think about my life

i think about creation, acceptance, exchange, development, conversation, silence. thinking processes. ideas.

new as old perspectives.

i think of progress.

even of rest

–

i say thank you to myself today

i say thank you to myself today

i say thank you and i love you to myself today

–

i leave and return

we are not seperated

–

 

last week i met a young mathematic at the clinic

he speaks that soft, clean, posh english

his boyfriend is english

he was reading a poet

and started reading it out loud :

„you lose your love when you say the word mine.“

(by Neil Young) 

–

(i am repeating it right now)

–

human….

human…

human….

human…

difficult…

human…

–

the answer is : a hug

by the way

–

we fail and learn

we fail and continue

we fail and fight

we fail and loose sometimes

–

we laugh and we cry

we fail and we win

without anger

no joy

–

„you lose your love when you say the word mine.“