If I feel stressed about the way I look at situations or about people and the world than because I refuse and because I don´t even try to listen.
I learn from experiences.
I learn and try to listen.
Over the years, I changed my perspectives of looking at situations.
I changed the perspectives of looking at myself and others.
Changed the way of looking at my past, my future and the world.
If I would just think negative …
I would get sick, I would not enjoy myself and I would reject myself or others.
I would feel stupid if I was just thinking negative.
I would not live as I wanted to.
If I would think just positive I would stay blind and naive.
So now where I am 27, I try to look at things more realistic.
For example (The glass is half full, half empty, it is both.)
I gave myself a lot of space to dream.
I give myself more space to create, still.
But I have to accept reality as it is and try to listen.
(There are good experiences and bad ones. Both. Both teaches me.)
I am able to change things for myself, that I don´t like.
I am able to leave people who hurt me, if I can´t accept people telling me lies,
treating wrong or disrespecfull , I leave them and go on…I don´t try to explain.
I go on and share my life with people who treat me good as I treat them good.
I can not change others.
But I can change myself, my decissions, my perspectives of how I look at things.
I can change how I handle my situations.
Accept them or leave them.
I learn and share what I learn.
I am able to inspire others. I get inspired all the time.
I am able and ready to share my experiences with others.
Life teaches me almost everyday.
I try to be aware of what happens inside of me and outside of me.
One day I realized and learned something …
this is a short common story of my life with bigger meaning:
(It was summer in Berlin..)
I was working on my creative stuff for a long time, isolated from outside and had to push myself, to leave my house, to meet a good friend, of mine.
So again, I was sitting in the cap…
The taxi driver wanted to start a conversation with me.
So, my first thought was…
„I guess he wants to flirt with me like most taxidrivers, I hate smalltalk, why, why, why always me.“ (thoughts)
But then I realized I was judging before I even tried to listen.
So I gave myself another chance and decided to look at him and listen.
He asked me questions, so I answered, as honest as I could.
He told me about his life.
He told me about is wife.
About their relationship.
He said if he would stop buying her flowers she would become sad.
She would start questioning their relationship and even more.
(I realized I never tried my best in relationships somehow and if then I was in a relationship with someone who did not even try his best to make me stay)
He told me about his past, his job as a teacher.
He was teaching „Art“ in Iran. (wow)
He asked me about my Job.
Started feeling uncomfurtable, because at this time, I did not feel comfortable telling others that I am an Artist.
Sometimes, I felt guilty of having more time and so much more space to grow while others like my mother had their 9-5 Job. (different time, today I know their decissions vs mine)
He said „It is okay, I am an Artist, too.“
He said „You dress up different. Everyone else wears short clothes. It is summer. You wear long clothes.“
(This was that moment I realized something again)
For example, I could not believe, I left the house in a anti-summer-look.
I realized I gave up hope somehow.
I could not even handle summer. (haha)
I did not believe in love.
I rejected marriage in my thoughts.
I didn´t wanted to find love.
Affraid of love finding me.
I wanted to keep my passion for my art work.
I thought he was a taxi driver his whole life? But here we go. He teached me something really important.
I experienced something by such an „common“ situation.
We should never judge before we listen to a person who is talking to us.
He showed me, it was not his job that made me listen, it was him as a person,
who tried his best to beginn a dialogue, to share a conversation so honest..
with a stranger, like I was.
Don´t judge, before you listen.
And listen before you talk.
There is a negative way to think.
There is a positive way to think.
There is a realistic way to think.
Set your goals. It makes you a better, stronger, smarter person.
Leave people who talk negative towards you.
Leave them if they are „blind“.
Don´t give them the chance, to talk negative towards you.
Are you willing to grow?
Then start learning from your past.
Learn from your own mistakes.
Understand your mistakes.
We need to do mistakes in order to learn. It is never to late for a small or bigger change.
Do it wrong.
Do it right.
Do it better.
I mean I loved her, you know?
Maybe she hated herself.
Maybe she hated her life, her past, the visions of her future
or maybe not even at all.
And is it important to seem „right“ ?
Isn’t it important to be able to reflect ourselves and to be able to talk about this stuff and to recognize when we are “ wrong“?
We should have talk.
Yeah, we should have.
But instead we kept hiding our honest and deepest thoughts.
Could this be wrong? I should have asked her more question. Maybe the simple ones.
I didn´t know if she felt lonely sometimes, if she was happy or never at all.
I didn’t´t know if she had goals, dreams, interests, bad or good feelings about herself or nothing
or maybe both.
But eyes never lie, you know?
I guess I should call this modern communication but I just call it „the-adult-song“. A modern way of communication that doesn’t seem honest anymore.
So I didn´t know about her feelings. Didn’t know about her thoughts. I should have asked her more questions. Maybe the simple ones.
At least I tried.
I mean I know I tried.
Well, I tried it 100 times.
At least we tried.
„Pure Konzentration, kämpft sich durch mein Gefühlschaos und meiner Gedanken und setzt sich immer wieder durch.
Es befreit, es fließt und ich halte es für ein Wunder.“
Text/Fotografie: Christina Papadopoulou