meeting maria.

„your memory is amazing btw, remembering that…“

„really good in remembering details…felt empathy for you“

„have fun, whatever you are up to, enjoy it.“

„sitting on the floor, listening to Lebanon Hanover…“

„Can I ask you a question actually before I go? that might come across, triggering a bit, but by all means it is not, or at least not in a negative way… are you pruposely leaving reality or are you escaping it?“

„You can ask me anything. I am aware of reality and bored of it. I am not escaping , I am building and creating bridges.. to overcome …entertain myself and others.. I am an truely aware person…high concentrated whenever I want…able to change..  into the artist that is showing up in my mind … as a vision .. if necessary even play with the role, act …

use the reality more as … information … experience… Jist able to tranform it …

into something. something aesthetic. able to look at it and remind myself and others…“

„I see. So you doing it purposely or even more then that. wow. very interesting. never had anyone express it so clearly. excited to discuss that more deeply when i see you.“

„You can always ask me anything.“

„Isn´t intution a feeling, too?“

„No.“

„What is it then?“

„Intuition is some inner voice that is leading you to action. to a higher awareness… it is a deeper knowledge or higher wisdom. let me call it the language of the soul.“

„I am very happy we met, Christina.“

„I am to drunk to talk, that´s why I am continuing writing instead … If I was my truely self… people would easily feel offended … I am really eccentric .. I am choosing another stage… another platform… another tool … wanna share the language of my soul. my soul is loud, confronting, challenging, strong, ..women say I seem manly or androgyn.  my soul has no gender. people say I am crazy, expressive, emotional and provocative. I am aware of it. And it´s ok.“

„I`ll tell you also, your knowledge and wisdom is something I needed.“

„Your father is the reason we met.“

„He is. I feel it in my bones.“

„This is intuition.“

„Everything you just said confirmed it.“

„Your body and soul is reacting to truth.“

„You are powerful… so I am.“

„What did you feel?“

„Energy. Freedom. Home. Love. Forgiveness. Guidance. Safety. Infinity.“

„You moved a lot in me.“

„You know I`ll be honest right now.. my soul and I a dodding a head, I can´t express it. You filled me up with excitement. It´s like being in a cage.. more accurately in a desert… locked… to a battery“

„This cage is necessary u are learning something atm. You are leading … and people even trust in you. You are responsible and that is necessary … you know how powerful this is… even if they don´t tell you right now… “

„Can´t thank you enough. One of the most beautiful things that happend to me since he is gone.“

„You are going to be succesful in either way. Because of the expectations of yourself. He made sure we met.“

„We are going to share more soon“.

„Thank you for this raw honesty.“

 

Berlin, 24th of June 2020

Christina Dimitra

 

personal revolution(s).

„i feel really good and balanced today. really good. my mom and me , we are talking  since yesterday night again. i see and read and feel the change.

it´s huge. she sounds different.

her words are chosen more aware.

that´s respect.

it was a heavy road, man.

it´s been a long road.

but today i can say : i am overwhelmed and proud to see and experience this huge change. i thought they would never change.

let see we are learning and growing, reflecting, we are starting the dialogues now.

it´s new for me to see that , people i love are willing to reflect on their past and become aware of their own thoughts and words.

this means a lot.

For a better future you know?

wow.

man life is good.

so good right now.

good, good feelings right now.

success.

that´s the feeling of success.

yeah.

my heart mom you are in my heart.

sometimes we got to fight and argue in order to return to ourselves, willing think, willing to reflect , for a better future.

for a better conversations based on trust.

some leave. some return. but distance is a good idea sometimes. nothing is fine. we all got a past. it´s okay to argue if necessary. but respect is important. tolerance is important.

truth always wins. love always wins. love means acceptance. and tolerance. hate is disrespect. and if someone attacks you scream, yell, do something. express your emotions and don´t be afraid to fight your enemies for a better future. if your will is good. no worries.

It´s okay to talk about it and share our experiences in order to learn from past mistakes.

„big personal revolution“ it was long road till now. depression is real. it´s a real thing. stop lying and you start healing. we are on our roads and patience is everything.

respect is another thing.

(i was always talking about the brain, about self reflection, self confrontation, self healing (based on my mindset and emotions and feelings, fears. juxtapositions, always. you know and i know. we all know. u don´t want me to succeed huh? but i won my own metamorphosis.)

i write about my personal experiences and i write in so many different ways.

in german, english.

in different moods , ways of expression.

do you remember when i said „i got 100 ways to express?“ 

hmm.

i am just saying.

i am gifted and i stay grateful for ever.

i am modern , i am new , i am mixed  , i am proud being greek and I have the big , big influence of germany because i was born and raised here so i am strict and direct and keep myself disciplined like german people truly are. 

we are not separated from each other.

i got say i am willing to share so others can get inspired of my personal road.

i am high sensitive, i am strong, i am a woman, an universal soul.

and i won´t change for anybody but I return to myself as good as I can,

More and more and now just thought about it again.

Great. Ugh.

Like „Boom“

I mean my mother and me, we were fighting and arguing for a long time.

A loooooong time.

Boom.

I feel the change time after time.

It´s not possible to explain this feeling right now.

Not possible.

It´s worth 1.0000000000000 words but I can´t so I won´t even try.

My patience was worth the ups and downs all my life and I am willing to learn, grow, listen, share my wisdom.

I am serving you right and you know it.

You know it.

Everything I want, is good for all of us.

For all of us.

And I am smiling this is freedom right now.

We are never done.

We are still learning.

Forgiving.

We won´t forget.

But we start transforming and I feel the Joy right now.

Everyone of us.

This is love.

Haha.

This is love.

Acceptance.

Omg.

I love her and I won´t regret anything I did and say.

I am not Jesus not God.

I am just a little piece of this big world.

I am proud of us.

And by us I mean the few that know now.

This is chaining.

New.

Good will always be attacked.

Always.

But truth always wins.

This has been a big big big big lesson for me..  for 28 years? Okay.

And now I say:

Punnanananaanananananananananannaannanaananannanaa.